For the first time in what seems like week, I feel happy. I feel free. Slowly, the dread the need the edge to find someone to replace Eric is dulling. I'm glad. Now I can focus on more important things, like enjoying myself. There is nothing wrong with me. I am perfect. I am perfection in flesh. Anyone would be damn lucky to even be in my presence. I am all powerful. And now that I'm not feeling bad for myself, I can finally quiet the storms inside of my chest and go back to my quiet cold living. It's best not to feel. I've always yearned for that perfect calmness. I had it this summer and he had to come and ruin it. Well, now I know. On the other hand, it's very difficult for me to fall in love with anything. I question motives. I even questioned his motives when he complimented me, wanted to talk to me, said he missed me.
But I know that I love my mother and my nephew very much. I respect my father and sister. I love myself. I cherish my friends but someday, I hope there would be someone who would be able to go past my scrutiny and force my calmness to turn into bliss.
Until then, I feel content with what I am an what I feel now.
But I know that I love my mother and my nephew very much. I respect my father and sister. I love myself. I cherish my friends but someday, I hope there would be someone who would be able to go past my scrutiny and force my calmness to turn into bliss.
Until then, I feel content with what I am an what I feel now.