Well, I'm curshed or maybe more like crashed into the wall of misery. But even though I'm shocked out of my wits, gapping for air, I still remember my promise. I will not intereven even though jelousy monster is nibbling on my insides as I write this. As a friend, I will do nothing to upset. Never, not even to make the dull pain go away.



I know I’m an idiot thinking of this

That things could be different than what they have been.

I’m ignorant, stupid, and blinded by hope

That what I imagined was not all a hoax

But as I step closer and gaze into depth

Of abyss of my masochistical brain

I will realize that I turned an addict

An addict to suffering, burning, and pain.

And if I didn’t know, I’d most likely step.

I’d fall into darkness and never look back.

But the voice in my head, that of logic and reason

Will not let me cure my full-blown obsession.

It locks up my tears with the petty of lies

Telling me that in the end things are all right

That I’ll outgrow this fed of starvation

That I wouldn’t need to sing to sad faces.

But the demon of old will not let me be.

Perhaps it was I who side-stepped in the end?

Was it I who had sealed fate of morbed reminiscence?

Was it I who had turned from the road to salvation?

All the want in the world will not answer my questions

Neither will mirrored image of sublime and you.

You will laugh as I tell you, “I’m wounded lost soldier

Of the battle I fought for the sake of my love.”





@настроение: Ich dachte dass ich lebte.