I used to write some beautiful things. I used to be fascinated with lights and shadows, instead of focusing on how to reproduce them. I used to be able to look at the world with open eyes and hope, instead of wait for one disaster after another. I used to be naive, and I miss this naivness that ruled my heart. I could write this:
The other moved away, leaving no trace of warmth under his fingertips. Coldness entered his mind as the storm of emotions subsided. He was standing alone. Dan was walking away. And yet his words still buzzed in Constantine’s ear. Why couldn’t he understand that Constantine love to teach that he couldn’t take the risk unsure of the future? For all he knew, Dan could back down at any moment leaving his standing alone, just like right now. The wind went right through him, penetrating the flesh and bone .No, Constantine is not going to run after him. The other needed time to think. He needed time to think. The pace of life was too fast. It was spinning out of control and soon it will shatter. He needed time. An angel needed his peace away from the tempting demon. The young man blinked few times, counting the seconds. He would wait for Dan to walk out of the park, before he would make his move. The car was still parked in the school’s parking lot. He would walk slowly, because wave after wave of nauseating pain hit him each time he tried to run. He needed time. He needed peace.
Without any strain! But now I can't. I'm dry and bitter and older.This bitterness is everywhere. When I look into my own eyes, I see the bitterness lodged in my very soul and burning away at the sugar coated dreams of better life. Things won't get better. They will only get worse. Although, I am no longer interested in death, life escapes me. What is life? What do we strive for? Money? House? Family? Are they so important that we tear ourselves to pieces and lie in the face of all to preserve something called 'pride'? I used to be able to shut my eyes on the fake lemon smiles. It was that time when I used to be a child but wanted to be an adult. The human kind is never suficed. And we never shall be.
The other moved away, leaving no trace of warmth under his fingertips. Coldness entered his mind as the storm of emotions subsided. He was standing alone. Dan was walking away. And yet his words still buzzed in Constantine’s ear. Why couldn’t he understand that Constantine love to teach that he couldn’t take the risk unsure of the future? For all he knew, Dan could back down at any moment leaving his standing alone, just like right now. The wind went right through him, penetrating the flesh and bone .No, Constantine is not going to run after him. The other needed time to think. He needed time to think. The pace of life was too fast. It was spinning out of control and soon it will shatter. He needed time. An angel needed his peace away from the tempting demon. The young man blinked few times, counting the seconds. He would wait for Dan to walk out of the park, before he would make his move. The car was still parked in the school’s parking lot. He would walk slowly, because wave after wave of nauseating pain hit him each time he tried to run. He needed time. He needed peace.
Without any strain! But now I can't. I'm dry and bitter and older.This bitterness is everywhere. When I look into my own eyes, I see the bitterness lodged in my very soul and burning away at the sugar coated dreams of better life. Things won't get better. They will only get worse. Although, I am no longer interested in death, life escapes me. What is life? What do we strive for? Money? House? Family? Are they so important that we tear ourselves to pieces and lie in the face of all to preserve something called 'pride'? I used to be able to shut my eyes on the fake lemon smiles. It was that time when I used to be a child but wanted to be an adult. The human kind is never suficed. And we never shall be.