Meating up with my ex wasn't so bad after all. We hung out for 4 hours, but it didn't feel that long at all. Anyway, I'm glad we're still friends. I really liked him as a person even if I wasn't sexually attracted to him.
Then again, when am I sexually attracted to anyone? There must be something wrong with me or else I'm just not that emotionally developed yet. But then, maybe it's not a bad thing. When my roommate tells me what kind of condoms they use, it makes me wonder where it all leads. Well, nowhere really. In the next fire years these boyfriends and girlfriends won't even remember each others names and the few tender moments they shared would blend into one memory of college and nothing more. Nothing is eternal, especially love.
Sometimes I wonder if there is actually someone out there for me. I hope so. The alternative is too frightening. I have accepted death, but I will fight against the fate of dieing alone. I want someone to hold my hand. It is a frightening journey.