I don't understand why I bother anymore. I mean, it's just like those alien movies. Resistance is futile. I can't find the silver line in this gray gray cloud. Maybe I'm just moody, but hell it feels like the whole world is against me. What happened to those wonderful emotions like courage, self assurance, confidence, self-awareness? Where did they go? It's like one moment I'm on top of the world, and then bam you're no longer a child and you're battling against half of known population. Life has a sucky quality right now.
I mean, my friends are horrible people. They are essentially wolves in sheep's skins. They hide behind false concerns and point fingers at me. I am the true evil. Oh give me a break!If ever I was evil, they were the seed that sprouted all the evils in the world. I mean, when was the last time they stood up for me? Um, never, while I always have to act as a human shield. They don't value me. They don't understand me and don't even try. Sometimes I get a feeling that I am the friend that no one likes and the only reason why they keep me around is to use me. Well, yeah.. thanks for teaching me about economics, but that's not the way real human beings have to interact.
And then... I wish I wasn't such a failure Christ almighty, why the hell wo I have to be the one with these freaking feelings? I want them OUT!