Cicadas haven't come yet, but there are still much excitement to reap. My god, for the first time in my freaking life I got a second place in a tennis tournament. Can you believe this? It's an amazing feeling, like I'm invincible. I can take on the world and win. It's mine for the taking. In addition to this trophy, my POEM was published in school's journal. There is just no limit to my happiness.. and the woman who put it all together said that The Ballad of Emo was her favorite poem in the whole collection. Hells yes!



Now, I'm waiting for the school to end and university to start. There are two weeks left before my junior year ends. I've made new friends this year with the seniors and a few juniors. Of course, I also had to let go off some acquittance because they are lying bastards that should be stabbed in the jaw. But that's just me, you know? Of all the years in this school, I bet I'll remember this one the most. E is no more. E is going to college next year. Oh sure, I lost my chance at fulfilling my premature dreams, but I bet it's for the better. E wasn't the right person for me. I doubt anyone I know is the right person for me in that sense. Oh, and another good news. Kat finally gave up. I guess my act of ignorance worked in the end. It wasn't easy, I'll say, but a rewarding victory. I rather like being straight and don't want to be anything but that. It's not the matter of God or religion, but that I'm proud of my genetics and I want them to be in the future generations of the human race... unless we all die in 2012.





If you had entered once my heart

I would have never been in fright.

But you were leaving me aside,

You wouldn’t let divine eye slide

And see my palms in the high heavens,

As I have prayed with many millions

To spare the world of hopeless souls.

One angel, sent to be my guide,

And whisper truth through darkest night

Would save me from my constant lying

And growing up with depth inside.

If you had been with me forever

I would have never turned away

I would have shunned the life of science

I would have spit in Darwin’s face.

But here, I let that darkest spirit

Embrace my useless to you flesh

And rearrange the words in mouth

To fester sight of light and day.

So, dearest God, in your existence

You wouldn’t care for any one

And I, a lonely human being

Is nothing but an ant to you.

But hear my voice, up in the heavens

For as I speak, some heads will nod.

If joy have never been expected

And we live out our days in sin

If we await the Judging Hour

Why poke us cruelly with a stick?

And if I meet you face to face

Upon the kingdom in the heavens

And say to you, how you betrayed me

Would turn you other precious cheek?

Would love you neighbor that’s disdaining?

Would call you holy murder-sin?

And when the Judgment day would come,

Will spare you your one honest critic?

Because Two Thousand Twelve is close

Much closer than the End should come.





My new role-play partner is kicking ass and taking names.