Yeah, recently I had time to look back on myself. Gosh, I was a whinny little bitch, wasn't I? To think that I wrote all of those entries about how tortured my love because ass-hole E won't notice me. Gosh. I'm glad I grew out of THAT phase. I would hate to be constantly stuck in that teenage angst. It's not worth it. No way.
And then, I looked at the people ( on the internet) that I used to talk to. Liya, indianfox, Gabi, Angel, karikashka, BECHA. They were all losers, like me. I don't udnerstand now why I tried so hard to make them like me or pretend like that cared about me. What the hell? What a waste of my time! Those people, all of them, weren't worth even one second or my nerves. The more I look, the more I begin to understand my own naive nature. My diabolical plans turned out to be petty little nuisances. I am not evil. I am not a future dictator of the world. I am not reincernations of Hitler or Stalin or Mao. I am me, whatever I am. I don't want to go back into that dark ignorant place. I want to stay here, in the reds and lilacs and blue. I want to stay in this color scheme, wild and painful to the eye as it might be.
I will not thank these people. I just hope that sooner, ratehr than later I would finally forget them and the conversations I had with them.
Nie wieder!